Hello friends,
You are an introvert, someone who doesn’t talk much to people. This is a general statement because not all introverts are the same. But regardless of their individual differences, they all share some common traits.
I was just like you. My name is Himanshu. I won’t go into too much detail. I’ll simply explain the performance differences between introverts and extroverts using two points.
“I request that you don’t jump to conclusions. Because you won’t be able to relate to the conclusion without reading the entire article.”
Therefore, I will try to explain my point to you in 2 short points.
These points are as follows:
What is it like to be an introvert? :
To be honest, I’m writing this article because it’s my own story. Everything I’m going to tell you, I’ve learned from my own life.
Let’s begin. “As far as I can remember my childhood, I was quite talkative. That’s what my mother tells me. Maybe most children are talkative in their childhood. But this extroverted nature of mine only lasted until I was about 10 or 11 years old. Because I would talk at home, but at school, I neither spoke nor laughed freely. To be honest, there was a reason for this. Initially, our house was a joint family. But by the time I was 10, my grandparents had passed away, and my father had gone away for work. My mother managed the house, and I was alone.
Loneliness gradually takes hold of a person’s mind. I had my mother to talk to, and no one else. It wasn’t that big of a deal, because many people experience this kind of loneliness in their childhood. But my problem was that I, who had lived in a joint family, became practically alone within a few years.
That same year, my mother also changed my school. Earlier, at least I could talk to the children from my old government school. Now, even that wasn’t possible. To be honest, my true introversion began right there.
I didn’t talk to girls, and I didn’t even talk to boys. Everyone else played and had fun. I was the only one who would sit in the classroom during games period, with my books open.
It’s not that I was studying. I would just sit there with the books open. In many classes, introverted children find their introverted friends. But I was unlucky; I was the only introvert in my class. An extremely introverted one!
Honestly, it was very difficult. When all my friends were laughing and joking, I would sit quietly in one place. School parties were a source of great joy for the other students. For me, parties were a source of tension. What would I do while the other students were preparing for the party, some practicing dance, some laughing and joking with their friends in the back seats…?
There were thousands of such incidents… when the teacher and most of the students would make fun of me.” They used to make fun of me. The whole class would laugh at me. And in an instant, my eyes would fill with tears. That was just at school. There were other times too, like when I went to weddings of my relatives. I would go to the wedding, everyone would be busy with their own things, and I would just sit there quietly. I would constantly try to show, through my body language and rolling my eyes, that I was normal. So that someone might come and sit with me, and the others wouldn’t taunt me for being dull and introverted.
Almost 8-9 years passed like this. By then, I was about 20 years old.
introvert to an extrovert:
I had finished 11th grade. This time, my family made me change schools again. It was the fourth or fifth time I had changed schools.
But this time, something was different about me. I didn’t suddenly become an extrovert, and I didn’t even think about it. The reason was that I had no expectations of myself. But losing hope had an advantage. I felt absolutely no pressure or stress about how I would adjust to this new school.
It was the first time I was going to be around new people, yet I was relaxed. This was the first turning point in my life. The students were new to me, and I was new to them. I didn’t deliberately try to talk more than usual. The reason my heart was relaxed and stress-free was that I had faced this pressure many times in my life. I had a pretty good idea of what the worst-case scenario could be. Because of this, I talked to the boys sitting next to me the next day without any planning. I was able to speak so freely that I couldn’t believe it myself.
Then, gradually, I started talking to a few more students in just a few days. And in a short time, everything became very easy. I became like those students in the class who sit in the back seats and crack jokes about what the teacher says, making the whole class laugh. During those days, I was the happiest I had been in my 20 years of life.
I understood one thing that day: if you want to completely change yourself, you first have to completely empty yourself. The mind is like a bowl; if you fill this bowl completely with stress and tension, nothing else will fit in it. If you want to completely change yourself, erase all the old things. Old memories fade away when your new memories are interesting.
Everything is clear in this process – if you’re an introvert, meaning you’re experiencing stress or feeling shy. there’s only one solution for both: your mind should be relaxed.
Keep these two things in mind:
(1) No matter what situation you’re in or what problem you’re facing. Think about the limits of everything involved. Consider the worst-case scenario. We are most shocked by things we never anticipated. Because no matter how big a problem is, it only seems overwhelming until it actually happens to us or until we experience it for the first time. The second and third time around, it feels less than half as difficult. So, think about all the possibilities of your situation beforehand and keep them in mind. This reduces stress. And with less stress, the chances of making the right decision increase.
(2) You’re an introvert, you don’t talk much to people. Just forget everything for a moment and start talking to the people around you. What’s the worst that could happen? The other person might not reply or might ignore you, but it doesn’t matter. If one person doesn’t reply, another will, and a third might even strike up a conversation with you and expect a reply. That’s just how the world is, people are all the same.
Is it really necessary for me to be an extrovert, or was it not necessary at all?
After I became an extrovert, this question became my biggest source of confusion. At that time, I was about 23 or 24 years old.
Incidentally, I was a Theist (believe in God). Being a believer had always given me a Base in life. By this time, my basis of life and experiences had made me so capable that such questions were no longer a problem for me; instead, I wanted toexplore them. If you are also confused about being a theist or an atheist and want to lead your life on the right path, then read this:
In the last three years, I did lot of things. I had 5 to 10 friends and two best friends… one of them was like a brother. We would talk all day. We would go out sometimes, sometimes somewhere else. All through college, it was fun, laughter, and jokes.
But this wasn’t me. I liked it in the initial years, but later I started feeling that it was just a distraction. Because my heart was with my friends and family. But when I was alone, I would become restless. Now I think about those moments when I was alone.
Yes, at that time, other people’s words hurt me. But I was enough for myself when I was alone. I could be happy even when I was alone. I only felt tense when I couldn’t talk to someone or a group of people, or when they were laughing at me.
In short, at that time, I didn’t need anyone to be happy. This solitude didn’t make me restless like it does today. Rather, I started to like that.
Conclusion:
I was beginning to understand the answers to all these questions and confusions. Because this was the time when I had experienced both kinds of lives. For years, I was an introvert, and for years, I was an extrovert. From this experience, I learned that a person should actually be an Ambivert, rather than being purely introverted or extroverted.
An ambivert is someone who adapts their behavior according to the time and situation. They talk a lot and joke around when needed, and they remain quiet when silence is the wiser option. An ambivert is relaxed at heart. They can adapt themselves to any situation. Therefore, you should also be like that. You should become an ambivert. Because being an ambivert is a sign of a wise person — A wise person who can adjust themselves among all kinds of people.
